Expression Babies
One of my favorite rituals of the holidays growing up was when my mom would carefully bring her beautiful Noritake Empire china out of hiding. Only on Christmas and Thanksgiving, of course -- we were not allowed to even touch it at any other time of year. I loved those dishes, and they took on almost a mystical significance in my head. My mom told me that they were intended to be passed down from mother to daughter forever, until the end of time, and for any piece to be damaged would mean irretrievable loss, grief, and tragedy. My joy at seeing these gorgeous plates was tempered by terror that my little clumsy fingers might drop one and sentence my daughters and my daughters' daughters to eternal deprivation. I probably wouldn't ever even get to have daughters, because I'd be grounded until menopause. When I inherited the collection, I was careful, of course, to treat it like a precious legacy. It was stashed away in boxes in storage for ages, because I hadn't had any occasion for which to unpack them. But lately, in the new blossoming era, I've not only unpacked the china, I've been using it. For tea on ordinary afternoons and for cereal with blueberries on regular ol' mornings.
At first that old fear of loss kicked in. And then I thought, do I really want to squirrel away pleasure for a special occasion, because I might screw it up? One might argue that the reason these things feel special is that we save them for a special occasion, but I don't think I'm so limited in my ability to generate joy that I can't celebrate every day as though it were a special occasion. Using objects to denote days that I have permission to feel "special" is as stingy and mean as Ebenezer Scrooge before the stroke of midnight. I think I might prefer to spend it out, to kick up my heels and be the post-ghost Scrooge, enjoying and sharing the incredible, limitless cornucopia of abundant treats that flow in and out of my experience.
We could behave like Depression Babies, filled with anxiety about saving for the future, making sure we won't be poor and hungry when we're old and rickety, because of the challenging times we're going through now. I think a certain amount of temperance -- contributing to your 401(k), putting aside some savings, etc., is an intelligent thing to do. But will refraining from using the lovely things that give you pleasure in life -- and minimizing the chance that they may be lost to you or future generations -- really keep you safe and abundant in your old age? I guess it could be argued that if those lovely things are lost, they'd have to be replaced. But is that really true? Would it be necessary to replace them with exact duplicates? If so, you might have to go to a little inconvenience and expense to do so. If not, maybe something better would be available that you'd prefer even more - something that you're not even open to as long as you are hoarding what you've already got.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather be an Expression Baby, and use the lovely things in my environment, the things that I have temporary use of for this short time I'm alive, to gleefully drink up the sensory enjoyment of physical reality. I don't have any daughters, as it turns out, so I don't have to worry about preserving a legacy for them, but for the people in my life, and their children, and any children that I end up "having" (one way or another), I think I'd like to make available to them any things 'n stuff that have been so generously loaned to me by the Universe for awhile.
I think it's time for a purge and splurge -- to let go of all the stuff I've got that does not inspire me with usefulness or delight, and to bring out all of the tucked away things that I've been saving for ..... whatever.
What are you hoarding, that if you were to bring it out and celebrate it, would inspire and delight you and the people around you? Would you prefer to keep it tucked away in feelings of fear and lack, or to employ it in the interest of being fully alive now?
liking very much what you have to say, inspiration to action is my goal. : 0
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I love this post & it is so relevant to today's life! A long time ago my mom, like yours and many others, also used to take out china during holidays only. But then our city (Sarajevo) was under a siege for 3 years. And during that time my parents decided we'd be eating & using all those precious things we were saving for a special occasion. There was no more time to afford to keep things for a 'better time'. Luckily we all survived, and to this day my mom, and everyone in my family uses the best every chance they get. Every day is as important as the holidays.
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What a wonderful, inspiring story, Lola! Thank you.
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I'm originally American, but have been living happily in Australia for many years. Some years ago, my husband went to the States for a conference and I gave him a list of some things to bring back for me (all of them food items), stuff that would be easy to carry and not too heavy. One of the things on the list was graham crackers.
I put my lovely graham crackers away and was "saving" them for some mystical special occasion (I have no idea what I was waiting for) and by the time I thought I might like to eat them, they'd gone off, and were full of weevils. If I'd just eaten them when I got them, I could have enjoyed them!
I've also had perfumes that I kept "for special occasions", because perfume can be quite expensive and you can't afford to waste it, right? Except that if you don't use it, it can go bad. Really bad. And I've had a number of bottles of quite expensive perfume do just that.
Now, I eat the food, I wear the perfume, I consume the consumables because that's what they're for. To enjoy!
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I like this entry and will use it today to inspire a closet purge where tons of stuff is hoarded! Ugh! Thank you. xx
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Life's too short to leave the protective film on. Yes, everyday should be a special occasion.
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I love your sense of joy and humor. The story is familiar to me, as I am sure, to others as well. Thank you for sharing. I got your web address from my sister, Priscilla McIntire. We all worked on the PDK e book together. Would you mind giving me some advise on how best to generate traffic to my personal development website. I sure would appreciate it.
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I am from Pakistan and my mother does exactly the same thing. She has her wedding cutlery all saved up, to pass on to my sister and brings the old china out only on eid.
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